Rude Mechanicals Press Blog

OK – I’ll admit that I squealed when it flew toward me. But unlike my cats, I did not run away and hide.

Oh no – instead, I grabbed a hat (I know the hair thing is probably apocryphal…but), closed the bedroom door, opened both windows and just sort of stood uselessly flapping my arms as it zipped around, frantically trying to escape.

The earlier one went right out the window; this one? Not so good with the echo location. (Yes, the above is the second of two bats in the house last night. I need to add a belfry.)

It seems I tired out the poor little bugger, because he kept trying to rest…only to take off again as I advanced on it. Once completely knackered, it alighted on the floor…at which point JJ decided to give his bat-hunting skills another shot.

Good work there JJ; you made the the bat scuttle behind a baseboard, then you retreated under the bed when it squealed at you. My hero. As if I could sleep with a bat in my baseboard.

I herded the cats from the room, grabbed my pillow, turned off the light and shut the door, then headed for the first floor to sleep on the couch.

But…eek! My alarm clock got left behind. When I opened the door to retrieve it, I was dive-bombed.

And now I’m glad I’ve not finished unpacking. This time, I opened the windows, dumped a bin full of towels on the floor, managed to capture the bat in the bin, then summarily dumped it out the window (the bat, not the bin).

Alarm clock in hand, I headed back to the couch. For all I know, there were three of them.

Not only do the appliances not match (horrors!) they don’t work. Were it not for electricity and hot water, it would be like squatting in a vacant home. In fact, most of the stuff on the first floor belongs to the former owners (I gave them until the end of July to find space for the stuff). And the bulk of my stuff won’t be here until next week. It really doesn’t feel like my house yet.

Does “HolyshitwhathaveIdone?!” count as buyer’s remorse? I really don’t regret selling my old house and I know that this one is going to be fabulous…in 10 years. But right now all I can see is an empty bank account and a K2-sized mountain of work. (It was Mt. Everest-sized…so I guess that’s progress.)

The closing was May 29; I had $20,000 remaining after signing the documents. As of June 6, I have (maybe) enough for a cup of coffee (gas station coffee, not coffee shop coffee).

What was the second-floor kitchen. I’d call it the junk room, but at the moment they are all junk rooms.

At the moment, other than the microwave I brought with me, there is not a working appliance in the house. The 25-year-old stove on the second floor worked on all fronts at inspection; apparently it was held together by crud. After being moved to the garage, cleaned, then installed in the first-floor kitchen? Nope.

I’ve ordered the least expensive gas stove in the Bosch offerings (the former owners have kindly offered to give me $100 toward a stove; that’s the least for which I could find a decent one on Craigslist). It should be in later this week.

The refrigerator that was on the second floor also worked at inspection. It, too, was moved to the garage and cleaned. It might still work, but there’s no electric in the garage so I can’t test it (and my extension cords are still on a truck). I hear it was literally hosed down and scrubbed. I’m guessing direct hits of water aren’t good for coils. Even if it does work, “energy efficient” is not in its lexicon.

So I went a little nutty and ordered the nowhere-near-least-expensive refrigerator in the Bosch offerings – the one I’ve been coveting for years but couldn’t fit in my old house (36″-wide, French door, counter-depth with bottom freezer). It, too, should be in later this week. I’ve already had to remove a cabinet so that it will fit.

See? Junk. And still not the right paint color.

Granted, a dishwasher is non-essential. But the first-floor kitchen (henceforth known as the kitchen) has a dishwasher in place; one can use it only as a dish-drying rack.

So I got a new one of those, too. Again with the Bosch. Which got to me to three kitchen appliances and a rebate as a result (hey – those brand-loyalty programs really work!).

It’s on backorder for a couple weeks…which is a good thing because it’s 1/4″ too wide to fit the space; that gives me time to hack off the 1/2″-wide trim from the edge of that cabinet run.

But the above is the comparatively cheap stuff. And I’ve resigned myself to the laundromat for the foreseeable future.

The roof, gutters and a few downspouts are in the midst of repair, though my roofer seems to have disappeared. I trust he’ll be returning; his tools are in what will be my study.

A lovely statement for any study.

On June 15, the HVAC work commences. The new furnace is (I’m told) incredibly quiet, 98-percent efficient, and approximately the size of a footlocker on end; that’s about one-quarter the size of one of the two existing units. It’s going in what will be the hand-tool and bench area of the shop. My bench room just got a lot bigger.

I’m also having a/c installed…about a week too late. I’ll be spending the rest of this day – projected to be 87° – editing at the local coffee shop…even though I can’t really afford to buy a drink from the nice people there.

And there are still floors to refinish and 20 new windows that need buying – and of course, I want wood frames, at least on the interior. With what money I do not know (if anyone needs any editing…do get in touch). The eight on the second floor simply must be replaced by winter – otherwise, I’ll be throwing money right out the window and the gaps around them.

Addendum (because I’ve heard a few kind people are genuinely concerned): By “out of money” I mean that I can’t do things like buy $20k in new windows right now or have the floors refinished. I can easily afford groceries (as soon as I’ve the appliances to both store and prepare them later this week)…and coffee. I am perhaps employing a wee modicum of hyperbole above.